On my Friday night outing, I saw someone I hadn't seen in a while. She was at Fashion Cafe with a guy whom she later introduced to me as her boyfriend. For some weird reason, every time I see a man and a woman together, especially if they seem intimate or something seems 'off' about them, I look at their fingers to see if I'll spot a wedding ring. This guy was wearing a ring quite alright, but the girl isn't married.
I have met a few girls who have introduced married men to me as their boyfriends. Maybe it's me but I find it very odd.
I don't condone but I understand the need for some girls to date married men...for money. What I don't understand is being in a serious relationship with a man who has a wife and kids. Especially when you've reached marriageable age yourself. Why would any woman in her right thinking mind be in a very serious relationship with a married man who has no intention of taking another wife?
If he's married, why take him serious? Why not something casual, get what you want and leave as fast as you can, instead of being in a 2/3/4 year relationship with a man whose wife has had two kids for him since you came into his life...I don't understand how some women can let themselves be used that way...
Anyway, that's really not what I want to talk about, just thought to chip that in. What I want to talk about is dating two guys at the same time. During my brief talk with this girl, I asked after a guy I used to know her with, to my surprise, she told me she was still dating the guy but is also dating the married man. She has TWO boyfriends.
I know alot of women who are dating two men at the same time. When you ask them why, their reasons range from, I love him but he can't take care of my needs, so I got myself an aristo. Some say you can't put all your eggs in one basket. Another set of women say they don't believe that God made one woman for one man. Others just like the variety, while some need more than one person to satisfy them completely.
Whatever their reasons, I'm thinking it must be very stressful keeping two men...and being serious with both. It's hard enough having sex with one man, how do you do two? How do you explain your whereabouts to one while with the other guy? All the lies you have to tell, the excuses you have to make, the cover ups.
I know alot of men keep more than one woman in Naija. You'll hardly find a married man who doesn't have a girlfriend, sad story! I guess it's easier for a man to keep more than one woman, just like lawyers, they know how to tell lies...and they almost always get away with it...
But women aren't built that way. God gave us more compassion, honesty, loyalty and made us more monogamous...imagine if all married women conducted themselves in the same manner with their husbands, marriage will cease to make sense.
Contrary to many beliefs, I don't think that many married women cheat. It's just something some men want to belief to justify their own infidelities. God didn't build women like that, that's why it puzzles me when a woman has more than one man in her life...I just don't understand how a girl can handle it. What if she gets pregnant? ok maybe that's lame but what about sharing your emotions, heart, body, mind and soul with two or more men, isn't that a hard life to put yourself in?
I so much believe in one at a time, maybe because I've never been heartbroken, so don't understand the need to cheat or 'not put all my eggs in one basket'.
I'm totally for one woman/one man. If it doesn't work out with the guy, move on and find someone else, or maybe it's just not that easy? Some women have been through hell in the hands of men and have vowed never to give themselves to only one man, in case of disappointment, they have someone else to fall back on...
