I don't know how many of you single girls are under pressure to get married...but I am.
Pressure from family, friends and 'people' who just can't mind their own business.
The pressure is so intense right now, I feel like going to a 'husband market' (if there's any such thing) to buy myself a husband, just so I can have some breathing space. lol
Give me a break you people. I just turned 27 and people are already wondering why I'm not pregnant with my second child.
I turned down a marriage proposal two days ago, and one of the man's relation said "You think you're young enough to turn down marriage? Think you still have that much time? Sorry for you!". I wanted to, but I didn't slap her lol!
Why the hell should I consider marrying someone I can't even imagine tolerating for long. I don't even know this guy. Saw me in a newspaper and asked his sister to meet with me...I've not even gone on a freaking date with him. I look at him and I feel nothing for him. And the sister looks at me like they are doing me a favor and I should be grateful.
At 27, I'm too old to turn down someone I can't even imagine sleeping with? Lord have mercy!
Today, I was discussing the issue with another female and she said at 27, I have only two more years to go before it becomes 'late marriage and childbirth'.
According to her doctor, the best time for a woman to have her first kid is between 22-29. After that, she might have complications. Her views got me thinking "What an idiot!" lol!
I have been hearing so much about marriage in the last two weeks that if I hear it one more time, I'll go crazy.
Please don't get me wrong. I want to get married someday, who doesn't? But am I ready now? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year? I don't know.
I know I have been saying I wanna get married, blah blah, but when I really think about it, I was looking forward more to a wedding than a marriage...and there's a big difference between the two.
Am I ready to be dictated to? Ready to cook everyday I get back from work for my husband? To take care of him the way a wife is expected to care for her husband? Ready to have sex with him anytime he's in the mood? (Ok, yes I'm ready for that...lol), ready to deal with in-laws? Ready to care for a home? Ready to be a mother? Ready to put someone else into consideration before making decisions? Ready to carry all the baggage that come with marriage?
Maybe! If I find the right guy!
There's just so much marriage gives you and some things it takes away from you. If you have dreams, depending on the man, he could stifle your dreams! In essence, you have to look before you leap. When you're under pressure, you don't look, you just leap. And that same pressure keeps you in it even when you want to pack your bags and walk away.
The society tells you a woman isn't complete without being married and that same society tells you to ignore your husband's 'bad habits' because according to it, 'it's a man's world'. As long as he comes home to you...?
People marry for different reasons nowadays, and one reason I know is rampant is the need for some women to join 'the club'. And do you blame them? The society pressured them into it.
Why won't you be pressured into it when your mother wants a grandchild? When your father wants a son-in-law? When your younger sister is married? When all your classmates are married? When people keep asking you why you're not married? When the likes of Frank Edoho tell married women not to befriend anyone who isn't married? Like being single is a curse.
Why won't you start getting desperate? Even at 25, 26. And at 29, you become so desperate you start dating Tom, Dick and Harry, hoping one of them will pop the question, so the society will applaud you.
I am very ambitious. I have dreams. I want my magazine to be a force to be reckoned with one day on this continent. I'm working on a TV programme and working on starting a fashion, modeling and beauty school. So much I wanna do. I haven't even started. And yes, at one point I want a man to walk with me, someone to go home to but I have to be careful who I choose as a life partner 'cos not all men can tolerate ambitious women. They act like they are okay with it initially, but a few years down the line, they start giving ultimatums.
Marriage is beautiful I know, I'm even looking forward to it, but I also won't be made to think I'm not much of a woman because I don't have a ring on my finger. And I won't be made to believe my life is incomplete because I'm not answering a man's name.
When the time is right and I feel I've found the right person, then I will get married.
Until then, there's nothing 'the society' can do abourrit!!!!
If you want to make it your business, then you're welcome to keep counting the years for that single girl you know. All I know is that it's not how long you've been married, it's how well you married!
Seriously, there are lots of women under pressure to marry. Especially from this part of the world. What advise do you have for them?
