It's 3am in the morning and I'm still awake. A nutritionist recommended something for me to take to help with my appetite (still trying to add a little weight) and instead of making me sleep, its keeping me awake. Not fair o!
So instead of just lying awake on the bed...let's blog.
Little Johnny jokes
LITTLE JOHNNY ON GETTING OLDER
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. "Did your grand father eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Johnny , "he minded his own fucking business!!"
LITTLE JOHNNY ON... PHILOSOPHY
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little JOHNNY . He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
LITTLE JOHNNY ON... MATH:
Little Johnny returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
" Why?" asks the father."
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied JOHNNY .
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference? " asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
LITTLE JOHNNY ON... ENGLISH:
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
JOHNNY says " Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little JOHNNY , that's a mouthful."
Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
LITTLE JOHNNY ON... GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little JOHNNY .
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
KKK endorses Obama...wonder shall never end!
Speaking from his Kentucky office in Dawson Springs, the Imperial Wizard exclaimed that anything or anyone is better than having that "crazy ass bitch" as President.
Animal crackers
Mischievious kids...some mothers do have 'em
Let me go back to bed to see if I can catch some sleep. If I had a man lying next to me, this would be the best time to wake him up...All night long...lol!
If this continues tommorrow, I'm dumping the vitamins in the trash....Ssshhh, don't tell her o...lol! But seriously what kind of vitamin keeps you awake? Or is there something else keeping me awake? My brain isn't even functioning well...
Anyway, I will survive!
Meanwhile, if you love art, click here to see the works of a Nigerian artist called Michael Adeniyi...http://www.artwanted.com/artist.cfm?ArtID=35818&SetBG=Yes
