Pengalaman Lucu Pembunuhan Karakter
[Asli Bikin Ngakak ni]

Gua masuk kantor jam 08.30 wib gan nah gua hari ini terlambat ke kantor gan...soalnya di kantor gua peraturan lumayan ketat..telat 1 detik aja..langsung didenda : .dengan mengendarai supra fit gua berangkat jam 08.05 perjalanan sekitar 18 km lum macetnya itu mepet waktunya gan antara telat dan ga telat....

Liat bensin waduh udah sekarat.....beloklah gua ke pom bensin ya iyalah masak ke toko bangunan beli semen...kondisi pom bensin cukup rame antrian kira-kira 5 orang didepan semakin panik aja neh....setelah giliran gua ....segera gua isi 10ribu ...begitu selesai dan selang bensin ditarik gua sambil serahin uang ke petugas pom sambil gua naik kmbali ke motor secara bersamaan karena gua terburu buru banget....begitu gua liat kedepan gua shock gan....

"TERNYATA JOK GUA LUM GUA TUTUP JADI GUA DUDUK DI TANGKI MOTOR GUA DAN JOK BERDIRI TEGAK DI DEPAN MUKA GUA"

Dan orang belakang gua nyeletuk "PELINDUNG DADA MODEL BARU NIH BIAR GA MASUK ANGIN YA MAS"

Waktu seakan terhenti dan melambat pandangan seakan mendadak hitam putih gan. Langsung riuh tuh pom,
Orang² di pom pada liatin gua....emak² ibu² yanng beli LPG 3 kilo an juga ketawa2 bahkan ada yang udah kuarin HP untuk difoto untung gua cepet turun dan gua stater gua ngibrit gan...

Dan Ending nya sampe kantor telat juga gan...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jadi ceritanya ane ngisi pr*mium tapi antrinya panjang gan..
nah karna hari itu ga biasanya ane pake sarung tangan gan
begitu ane kebagian ngisi bensin si mba SPBU nya nanya
mau isi berapa mas?

Ane kaget mungkin karna si mbanya lucu ane jd kalangkabut nyari" kunci karna ane liat kunci motor kaga ada di leher motor ane gan.. ane liat di lubang konci belakang tempat buka jok kaga ada... juga

Simba SPBU nya tau ane nyari konci motor dia juga lngsung bantu ane cari ntu konci gan... (mksdnya mungkin biar cepet karna di belakang masih pada antri panjang) dan ga taunya yang udah ngisi bensin di depan sama belakang ane yang lagi antri juga pada ikut nyari ntu konci motor... gan..

BEGITU ANE LIAT JAM TANGAN WADUH... KARNA ANE GA BIASANYA HARI ITU PAKE SARUNG TANGAN JADI DARI TADI ANE NYARI" CELINGAK-CELINGUK SANA SINI TERNYATA KONCI ANE PEGANG TERUS GAN DI TANGAN KIRI.

Ane ga sadar waktu itu dengan POLOS sambil aga teriak ane bilang "NAH INI DIA KONCI DARI TADI GW PEGANG"

Pas ane liat sekitar orang" yang tadi ikut nyari kunci motor pada liatin ane KESEL gan.. hahaha...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ceritanya wktu di pom bensin deket rumah ane, wktu ane lagi bawa motor bini ane motornya honda beat gan,(terus terang ane ga biasa make matic motor ane rx king gan)
Karna ane juga baru aja 4 hari kimpoi kimpoi n baru itu bawa motor bini. Pas selesai isi bensin ane bingung buat hidupin motornya padahal kunci kontaknya udah hidup rem depan juga udah ane teken tapi tetep aje ga mau idup motornya gan,,
Eh pas ane lagi panik²nya dari belakang ane nongol mbaK² yang langsung benerin standar motor bini ane gan, n langsung hidup deh tu motor beat bini ane gan...

Tanpa banyak basa basi.. ane langsung ngacir dahc...
ternyata ane baru tau motor beat ga bisa nyala kalo standarnya belum di benerin hammer sumpah malu ane gan

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beberapa minggu yang lalu..

Kejadiannya ane yang terbiasa make motor honda Supra Fit, sodara ane mau pergi ke luar kota buat waktu yang agak lama, nitipin motornya yang baru beli 2 bulan ke rumah gw.. Motornya Jup*t*r Z.

Berhubung Supra Fit tercinta umurnya dah 5 taun, kedatengan motor baru 2 bulan, ya ane pengen nyobain dong motor baru buat ke kantor.

Kejadian bermula pas gw mau isi bensin,, gw ngantri,. antrian kira² 10an motor deh.
Pas nyampe giliran gw, gw turun dari motor, cabut kunci terus ngeliat sekeliling jok, kok ga ada lobang konci buat buka jok , sampe jongkok² malah.

Ya karena masih pagi banget terus antrian panjang, tuh abang pom bensin langsung inisiatif ngambil konci motor, colok di staternya terus cklek.. kebuka dah jok motor.. dengan senyum yang agak nahan ketawa doi bilang "motor baru ya pak? sampe² ga tau cara buka jok"....
Malu banget ane.....

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dulu gw pernah tp ditoko pulsa, gara² pengen buru², abis ngisi pulsa langsung duduk nyalain stater, pas kunci mo dimasukin kok koncinya ga cocok ya???

Taunya ane lagi dudukin motor yg salah.... trus tukang pulsanya sm yg punya motor cuma cengangas cengenges ngeliatin ane....

Langsung ganti motor, trus nge gas seada²nya & ga pernah beli pulsa disono lagi dahc skarang....
kakakakkkkk.....

Sumber. http://www.kaskus.us/showthread.php?t=10819303

Foto Ekspresi Anak Saat Ujian Nasional

Maaf kalo gambarnya jelek, soalnya ni hasil maksimal ane scan kertas koran. . .
Silahkan diliat-liat sob dan apakah dulu juga sperti itu juga...

Ni mungkin di kasih soal SMA kali ya, bisa ampek gitu ekspresinya. dah pasrah dahc, ancur masa depan mungkin yang dia pikirin dalam otaknya. wkwkwkwkkkkkk... mau nyontek temen juga takut ketahuan, g nyontek soal nya bikin setres... mungkin dulu ane juga sperti itu juga ya....
hehehehehee.....

Seorang siswa kelas IV menunjukkan berbagai ekspresi saat menghadapi soal Ujian Nasional hari pertama di Sebuah sekolah dasar di daerah Bandung Jabar.

Sumber. http://www.kaskus.us/showthread.php?t=8818626

He's got it figured out...

Think about it...

Me: “Thank you for calling ***, this is Bill in the breast aesthetics department. How may I help you?”

Customer: “My left boob popped.”
Me: “Okay, so the implant failed?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Are your implants silicone gel or saline?”
Customer: “The water kind.”
Me: “So, we’ve had a saline deflation. I need to ask you some questions in regards to how it may have deflated.”
Customer: “Why, don’t you believe me?”
Me: “Of course I believe you, but as part of making our implants even better and evaluating where under the device’s warranty this falls, I need to know what may have led up to the implant’s leak.”
Customer: “Oh, so you think this is my fault?! You make a crappy implant and you have the nerve to blame me?”
Me: “Wait, wait. First, I didn’t make your implant, my company did. I’m here to help you get this fixed in the fastest way possible and that starts with finding out how the implant deflated.”
Customer: “So you want to know what I did to screw them up, is that right? I spend a fortune on these things to be walking around with a flat tire of a tit and you think it’s my fault?”
Me: “No, ma’am. I simply need to know how to cover this under your warranty, to see how much money we are going to give you to fix the problem. We give you a check for money to fix the problem if you’ll just answer my questions. What do you remember doing when you first noticed the deflation in your breast?”
Customer: “Me and my boyfriend were playing sex hide-and-seek in the house and he thought it would be more fun if my boobs glowed. So, he used a needle tube to insert little red lights into them… what do you call those little glowing lights? It’s like three letters?”
Me: “… A diode?”
Customer: “Yes. He’s a trained professional… he uses them on animals at his job all the time.”
Me: “So, your boyfriend punched a hole in your chest and tried inserting a diode inside the implant?”
Customer: “Well, not in my chest. Just on the top side of my boob so it wouldn’t hurt. He numbed it first.”
Me: “… And this is the implant’s fault, how?”
Customer: “It started leaking and getting flat.”
Me: *laughing* “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I’m recording this and no one is going to believe me!”
Customer: *click*

I'm worried he may also be chewing gum and passing notes.....




Okay so he has all this stuff on him, but can he even walk?

how polite....that'll teach ya to stall your car out and try to fix it!

Good place for the TP

I will never look at a traffic cone the same way again ever

Unless I *REALLY* have to go, I'll wait - or just use two!

Hey - if ya gotta go!

Oh good, they can't see my feet while I go to the bathroom....that's the most private part

words fail me

Go navy!

 Photoshop has a lot of simple features that make it possible to do just about anything as shown here.

My wife likes this...