Doing this is not easy for me, i had to go through this over and over in my mind. I finally decided to let this steam out, so i could have some sanity.
I am a born again christain, married for close to a decade with three children. I have what could be termed a 'peaceful marriage'. Peaceful beacuse despite all the issues we have, we hardly have any ground breaking auguments, we just flow with the tide, is this healthy? NO, have i tried to change it YES. What response do I get- silence.
When we have issues, I am always trying to call my husband, so we could at least communicate our grievances and try to resolve them. My husband will listen while i make all my compliants and when i ask him to respond, he would always say, he has nothing to say. Let me say that he has something like a dual personality, he is very nice to outsiders but can be very nasty to members of his household. This however is not my reason for this mail. I have a recent issue on my hands, and while seeking for answers, i also want to be counselled.
I gave birth in the last quarter of last year, shorthly before this I had noticed that my husband had changed towards me for no reason i could lay my hands on. I called him and asked him what the issue is but he says it is nothing. He tried to change to his former ways and told me about a lady he met and how he grew to like the person, he had met the person three months before he told me and till a week before she didn't know he was married. I had a heart to heart talk with him about coming clean on his marital status anytime he tries to establish a relationship with anyone,just so anyone knows and the boundary is set. I have noticed that he sometimes deliberating hides his marital status. He however tells me about the lady from time to time, he says they are just friends and that she is currently dating someone. She travelled recently and my husband wanted her to buy some things for him, so he started communicating with her via email. He told me about a mail he sent to her and said he was going to show me the mail, when i later asked him about it, his response is that he had already showm me the mail, i kept quiet, and i grew suspicious, because he did not show me the mail and it was intentional.
We both have access to our emails. I decided to check his mail the next day and i discovered why he smartly hid the mail from me. I read through all their correspondes. In fairness to the lady, she tried to keep the communication formal, while my husband was very informal, he even referred to her as 'dearest 'and 'darling' in the body of the mails, terminologies he has not used for me in the past 8 years, i was alarmed. I waited till he got back from work, no fight, no augument, while we were in bed,Í decided to bring up the issue with him, his response- SILENCE. I married my husband as a virgin, i have made a vow that no man whether my husband is alive or dead will have access to my heart. However, I am pushed to channel all the love i have for my husband to my children, which is what happens when the men starts to misbehave. I am not enjoying this marriage anymore and DIVORCE is not an option for me personally. What do you think?
