I had a very interesting discussion today and I want to share it with y'all to get your opinion about it. This is a very touchy subject people hardly talk about...if you're under 18, or still a virgin, then don't read this o!lol
Those who know me very well know that I talk too much...I no get secret o...but worse than talking, I ask questions a lot. Sometimes I ask questions like an idiot, not because I don't know the answer, I just like hearing people's opinion about stuff.
So this very interesting woman came to my office today. Married since 21, 14 years of marriage, four lovely kids. We started off talking about business, then without meaning to we started talking about men and relationships and before we knew it, we got into the subject of sex.
In the course of this discussion she said something that puzzled me. This thirty something year old married woman said she's never had an orgasm. Been sexually active for seventeen years, but NEVER had an orgasm.
I've heard a few people, especially women, say sex is overrated. A particular friend back then always said that God created sex for men...Before I started having sex, (Pls don't tell my mum o, she still thinks I'm a virgin lol) I was friends with someone who told me that sex for women was only for procreation...those who weren't doing it to make babies, were doing it for money...or just doing it to please their men... it was never for enjoyment...because there was nothing to enjoy in it, especially if you're circumcised.
The belief by some is that once your clitoris has been cut off (Which is what happens in female circumcision, right?), the tendency to enjoy sex is minimised. This opinion kept me away from sex till late in life.
I and all my five sisters were circumcised and I remember once asking my older sis (that one na ogbologbo lol) if she enjoyed sex, she answered a big YES! But most circumcised women hardly give direct answers. Most of them always say enjoying sex depends on the man you're having sex with.
So I was curious about the kind of man that is not able to make his wife cum even once in fourteen years of marriage...is it even his fault? This particular woman was circumcised...do we blame circumcision?
I asked if her husband knew she's never had a real orgasm, she said he can't ever know because she always...FAKES ORGASM. Been faking it for fourteen years. Whaaat! This was a bit hard to swallow..how can you fake orgasm for 14 years?
Then she said something that got me all riled up. She said...MOST WOMEN FAKE ORGASM! Most women fake orgasm? Women is that true? I remember hearing once that some women only enjoy sex with men they love and for a second I thought maybe that was why this lady had never had an orgasm. She was quick to correct that impression. In fact she said, her love for him was actually why she fakes orgasm. She said women in love are more likely to fake orgasm because she cares about the man's feeling.
So why hasn't she brought up the subject with her husband I asked her...she said many men would be hurt if they knew their partners were faking it so she and many women like herself choose to ignore the subject and stick to the acting they've mastered over time.
I read somewhere that 72 percent of women fake orgasm and 55 percent of men say they can tell when their partner's faking. If 72% women fake it and 55% men think they can tell when a woman is faking, then the women are either overestimating their acting ability or the men are overestimating their perceptiveness.
I think if any woman is faking orgasm, the motivation must be to avoid causing feelings of sexual inadequacy in her partner. Unfortunately most people don't openly discuss sex in general, and orgasm in particular, especially in this part of the world, therefore, not all men are aware of the possibility of faking an orgasm, while others can't separate the real from the fake, a few don't particularly care, as long as they have enjoyed themselves.
Personal question; have you ever faked an orgasm? If you have, why did you do it? Is there any woman out there who falls in the same category with the woman I was talking to today? If yes, have you ever discussed your inability to reach a real orgasm with your husband? why have you never discussed it?
Why do women fake it? How do you know what to do to convince a man you're enjoying him when you're not. During orgasm the breath becomes heavy, how do you fake that? Can men really tell when a woman fakes it?
Have I ever faked it? Let me think...naaaah! He was too 'big' for me to fake it. lol. God please don't let my mum see this post, pls, pls, pls! lol
Please send in your opinion about this topic. Hopefully there's no underage reading this blog. Would love to know what you think.
