I don't approve of the word Nigger, not because of the word its self but because so many people have a problem with it, including my sister in law storming out of my house once (She's white) and called me a "douchebag" (is that offensive?) over the use of it, and honestly, I think there's better things I can say.  BE THAT AS IT MAY.....if you're going to say it?  Just say it....have the balls to at least call it what it is......I'm waiting for Huckleberry Finn to come out redacted to say "n word Jim" in refrerence to Huck's friend.

Something bugged me today with a few out-of-towners at the gas-station here in Beaverton.   I thought I'd blog about it.  I think they were from New York.  They looked and sounded like they were from New York.  They were pushy.  Shovey.  Rushy.  Cut in front of cars at the gas station without checking to see who was in line first and then looked around with a stupid look on their face wondering why people were upset with them.  Not that I have anything against New York, except your politicians suck and your state is corrupt and you vote for idiot policies even stupider than we do here in Oregon, but whatev.

So, a few thoughts.  All you who move to Oregon (Ory-gun or Ory-gin) who aren't from here,  if you're not from here....you're not from here.  You can't be from somewhere you're not from.

But if you do come here - especially if you're from back east, or even south of here - few pointers on being here in Oregon.


1) We move slower here.  We don't drive 90mph on the interstates.  Its illegal.  Do that with an out-of-state plate, and Smokey's gonna wanna talk to you specifically.  Especially if you're in a crowd of other cars doing the same exact speed but you're from out of state.

2)  Riding people's ass in traffic?  Rude.  Not going fast enough, go around, or maybe you need to slow down a bit.  Use the time to relax a bit and enjoy the scenery.  And no need to go around someone  with the "attitude" with the hard swerve to show in 2-year-old-with-a-license-fashion just how upset you are.  Go around. And get a ticket.  10 over will get you pegged.  (I've seen that happen a few times when people from out of state got frustrated and go racing past me right into a speed trap and get pegged).

3) Let people in on the freeways.  Make room!  If you see the turn signal - you really are a jackass if you speed up to keep them out.  If they run down the side and cut in at the head of the line...its because they have somewhere to be and its very important to them - let them in so they can continue their day rather than putting them at the back to harass everyone - maybe it will help them relax.

4) If someone lets you in - wave thank you in your rear window.

5) Get off my ass in the checkout line.  Standing right on top of me and breathing down my shirt - sexy as I am and however tempting I am - to express your displeasure with the checkout line going slow - is just rude.

6) Wait till you have a reasonable space to put your groceries on the checkout line.  No need to hover while I write my check or enter my PIN.  Just like in grade-school, everyone has to wait their turn.

7) Say thank you.

Jones Soda - a Pacific Northwest Thing.....

8) We don't call it "The I 5" or "The 205" or "The anything."  Why?  Because that's not what they are.  No more than you would call it "The main street" or "The blue jay court" or "The Stoltz Road."  It's "I 5" and "Stoltz Road" and "Broadway Avenue" and "205."   No "The's" in there.You sound silly when you say it.

9) Clean up after yourself in the store.  If your rug-rats are making a mess in the store, clean it up. If your rugrats are stealing candy under the guise of sampling, teach them to stop.  Its dishonest. If you have to look at the bottom pair of Levi's on the entire stack and the stack falls over....put it back.  Don't be a pig.  This is Oregon - not Californication or some other third-world state where people expect others to clean up after them and aren't responsible adults and then whine about how their kids aren't being nannied into being responsible adults.  This goes for even if you're in Wal Mart as well.  Now, putting a spatula that you don't want onto a shelf in the pants aisle is perfectly acceptable as it can give store clerks something to do and make their day interesting.  Or leaving your lingerie you decided not to buy in the power - tools aisle or on top of a dog-food bag can be "artistic." But just making a mess is wrong.

10) Don't litter.  The outdoors isn't your personal garbage bag everyone else just has to cope with. 

Trillium Lake - Oregon

11) Don't go camping to "get away from it all" just so you can pack your stereo into the woods and blast everyone out and make everyone else in the outdoors feel like they are living in an obnoxious apartment complex. 

 12) You can blare your car stereo and go *thump thump* to show off you're compensating for something you don't have, and people do do it, but it's generally considered rude, AND, it makes you very easy for the police to find or harass with the noise ordinances in the various cities. And they will and do.



13)  You don't get to pump your own gas here.  The gas station attendants haven't figured out that if they let you pump your gas they make more for doing less work.  But - if the attendants are slow, just LOOK like you're going to pump your gas and they will come right over to pump it for you because....it's illegal.  But don't actually pump it. 

13) Lastly....be honest.  I've heard from people back east that stuff is so open here and the way our shops and stores are set up - it wouldn't last 10 minutes back east - and that it just makes you want to be honest because everything's so open here.

Just a thought from today. 

Apparently, in New York City, sit-down and dine-in isn't fast enough for some diners who want a time limit imposed  on diners who are too slow eating....so THEY can sit down.  How rude of the other diners who got there earlier to only think of themselves in their selfish dining!


http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/08/24/is-it-time-for-dining-time-limit-in-nyc-restaurants/

I guess this means restaurants like The Four Seasons where dinner can be over $500 and last nearly 3 hours need to become more like McDonalds. Start serving Fast Bass and Quick Quiche and a Speedy Steak rather than a dining experience that lasts.  Of course if I lived in NYC I might want to be someplace nice for a few hours as well....

When I was a waiter in Japan (Back in MYYY dayyyyy) the Japanese would often take 2 - 3 hours for dinner.   That entire time didn't require a water-refill either.  

FASTER DAMMIT SO IIIII CAN EAT!  Better not friggin choke so I have to waste time doing CPR either! MOVE! STUFF IT!

My recommendation? How about people who are upset that the OTHER people are taking too long - make a reservation?   Learn to spend time with their family and cook at home?  Go someplace else?  Eat faster themselves and be an appropriate example?  Set a chess timer on their own table?  MAKE A RESERVATION?  Think of someone besides themselves?  MAKE A RESERVATION?  Just a thought.  Lots of ways this can be solved..... (Brought to you by Carl's Junior).