One of the guys I work with came to work today looking very sad. Someone said some nasty things to him and he just didn't know how to get over it. 'I'm not like that, why would he say such things?' he kept lamenting. He almost came close to tears. They were very hateful words. Very hurtful. All I could do was talk to him. I told him the same words I tell myself whenever I get hateful words...which is not often - Thank God!
How many of us get extremely depressed after hearing comments from people who 'intensely and passionately' dislike us? We call them 'Haters' and they can be quite annoying and their comments and insults can be quite upsetting.
But before I continue, there's something I need to say here. It's unrealistic to say that we are only ever 'hated on'. Some of us are haters ourselves. And it's only natural really. There are some people and things we just can't stand - which is fine, as long as we don't hate in a way that's destructive or damaging to the soul.
Having said that, there's something we all need to understand about 'hating'. Just because one person or some people tell us something, doesn't mean it's true. Even if it's true, we should try to be optimistic about it. No one is perfect. We are all bound to make mistakes - do things we are not proud of. As long as we learn, forgive ourselves and try to make things right, little else matters.
And we also have to understand that just because one person is against us doesn't mean the whole world is. There are usually more people 'for us' than 'against us'. It's just unfortunate that some of us focus on the negative, instead of the positive. You know, when we get lots and lots of compliments from many people and then one person says something extremely negative- we tend to focus on that . It's only natural. Just don't dwell on it. If it must bother you, let it bother you for a little while - then move on. You have to understand that sometimes people don't know what the hell they are talking about. They say these words to us sometimes out of jealousy, spite and because they just love to 'hate'.
But you know the best way to deal with these 'haters'? Don't deal with them at all. Instead of getting mad at 'haters' for hating, keep doing what you do. Nothing pleases a 'hater' more than to see you fail, so the best revenge would be to continue to succeed, so push forward.
Whatever you do, never confront, struggle or argue with haters. When you confront them, they steal your emotions, they steal your goodness, they consume you. Don't let them. Let them say what they want but don't let their words bring you down. Don't ever ever give anyone that kind of power over you.
Let them keep hating, while you stay positive, think good thoughts and focus on achieving your goals.
We all have to also realise that it's easier to deal with haters when we love ourselves - unconditionally. In loving yourself sincerely, you will find joy in knowing that no matter how badly some people may talk about you, you know who you really are - and those who know the real you, know. After that, nothing else matters.
'Haters' may exist, but don't let them into 'your world'. Instead focus on good friends, genuine love and peace of mind.
Please remember, HATRED is like a gift; someone could offer it to you, but it doesn't mean you have to receive it. They can keep the gift all to themselves. :-)
***
By the way, I took down Dbanj and Wande Coal's picture. The picture is all over facebook, but then after reading a particular comment and taking another look at the pic, it occured to me that the pic might have been initially put up by people or someone 'hating' on them. Putting up the pic on my blog was spreading the 'hate'. That was not my intention and my apologies to everyone it upset.
God bless and have a wonderful weekend ahead.
Kisses!
