Now that I got the obvious out of the way - here's some entertaining quotes I obtained from around the world wide web, compliments of Al Gore.
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. Unless you are a table.
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
( All supposedly from Mr. Mitchell Hedberg)
