Tonight I went for a really freaking long bike ride. Fortunately I have two jobs and one of my jobs I actually get paid to go on scenic bike rides. YES there are jobs out there like that and in this economy - I have one of them AND I have another job - I have TWO. So part of this crappy employment situation is caused by hogs like me who not only have more jobs than there are people who hold them (one me, two jobs) but who enjoy the heck out of one of them.
The above photo is taken after coming down from the Columbia Plateau down to the Sandy river and headed to the Columbia River at sunset not more than a couple hours before I wrote this. Snapped from my cell phone while riding.
This was crossing the Stark Street Bridge across the Sandy River. The cell phone camera doesn't do the scenery justice but just know this: I was at work on a bike ride and getting paid to not be in an office and to go where we wanted to go. That's all that matters.
At any rate, I stopped at a really sweet restaurant, called "Tads Chicken 'N Dumplins" that sits right on the Sandy River after riding for 25 miles to get there. It was my step-father's favorite restaurant and I went to stop to just remember him tonight. AND THEN....the lousy semi snotty customer service started. Maybe they were mad their sign out front was half out.
Actually the guy with the goatee was pretty cool, it was the older lady with the blonde hair who decided apparently since I wasn't buying a full course dinner that I wasn't worth serving very well and that I wasn't dressed nice enough to be in there.
the world. Places that not only cost me $400 just to eat but the service matched. I ate at one restaurant at a hotel where the ceiling went up some five stories and there were giant sheets of wavy glass coming down from the ceiling. On the glass was "rainwater" that came down from the ceiling that cascaded into a full blown RIVER through the middle of the restaurant. My table was at an actual tiki rainforest palm thatched roof gazebo type thing with full blown tiki torches lit at my table with the river running below my table where there were koi swimming. There were exotic birds flying through the full blown rainforest and landing in the trees.....get the picture? This was an "upscale" restaurant. I haven't seen anything like it since.
Most of the time "upscale" means you pay out the nose/butt for your food to be in way smaller portions while it's artfully arranged and your plate is eight times too big for the portion you receive while your waiter is still snotty but wears a bow tie. Oh and the people around you are dressed super nice but snottier than the panhandler bum on the corner because they are BETTER THAN YOU - unlike the panhandler bum who knows he needs to be nice, but he can also afford to tell you to go soak your head as well I guess. Have you seen the movie "Office Space" where the two guys are discussing what they would do if they had a million dollars and one of them says "I'd do absolutely nothing." The other says "oh hell, you don't need a million dollars to do that. Talk to my neighbor, he's flat broke and he don't do jack squat! Living the American dream!" But I digress.
Oh, yes, it's an upscale restaurant because the lights are low and they have candles on the table. Like - yeah - who doesn't? I mean - really? I can't tell the difference from one restaurant to another really and the food is usually of the quality I could make it myself. I don't mean to sound snotty but if you're going to compete in business - what really sets you apart? Why go here versus somewhere else? I mean McDonalds? Okay, for $1.00 I get a double cheese burger and it's the same every single fricking time and I get it NOW. IN MY HAND. You can't really beat that in a lot of ways. That's service and well - a value meal! AND IF YOU SERVE ME COFFEE TOO HOT AND I SPILL IT I WILL SUE!!! Yes, McDonalds knows how to serve very well for the price you pay and for the price they've paid.
So while I was stationed in Japan, I found that nobody in my experience beats the Japanese when it comes to customer service. I am sure someone somewhere will disagree with me (and therefore be smarter than I am) but this is my experience and my observations and gripes about service in America. (Of course the Japanese can also be masters when it comes to dicking with you and making sure they waste your time and money if they decide they don't like you as well. I'll save how I found that out for another day.) Even going to a gas station has customer service that our finest restaurants would be pressed to beat.
At any rate, while I was stationed in Japan, I was at this restaurant and this totally cute Japanese waitress ends up serving my table. And I decided I had to ask her out on a date/outing - whatever. But I didn't have the money to keep coming back to the restaurant and hoping she was working and hoping I sat in her section and that she'd wait on me one out of every eight visits. No. That was impractical. I had to find another way. I know! I'll get a job as a waiter working WITH her. Maybe she can train me or something. Yeah. Good idea. And I can play stupid and take an extra long time learning things so I can spend more time with her if I can get her to train me and maybe things will work out.
SO I DID. I got a job at a Japanese restaurant just to ask a girl out. Long story short, she turned me down and happened to be moving to Germany like the week after I started (or decided to move to Germany to get away from me). Well, what to do, what to do now that I have a job and no available dating prospects which was the whole point of this thing? Guess I'll take the money and just learn what I can.
So! I learned how to serve in Japanese to a restaurant table and was the only American doing so. It was a great time. But what they taught me put all customer service in restaurants to shame in my country. It's just a different culture there, but since then - I've never been fully satisfied with the service.
One of my pet peeves in America is servers who never introduce themselves. Like, just because you show up at my table and I don't know you from Adam but you make some stupid witty remark I'm supposed to leave you a $20 and I don't even know who the hell-o you are? Yeah - I don't give money to people I don't know let alone don't know their names. In Japan I always had to introduce myself formally at the start of the meal. The point? Because I'm bringing you your FOOD y'all. Kind of personal. And - if someone wishes to compliment me to my boss, they can. Or if they wish to complain, they can. But I always had to start with an introduction.
Most service in America is so lousy I might as well just get it myself and save myself the tip. Yeah, I know, try living in France or Germany (or so I'm told). This is relative and compared to my experiences.
My other pet peeve, waiters who just come up to the table and interrupt while I'm talking about something very personal with my wife or with my family. They just interrupt. It drives me up a wall. I'm talking about the death of my step-father and suddenly an arm with a loaf of bread gets jammed in my face across the table while the waiter burns himself on the oh-so-fancy candle that looks like it came from Wal Mart (but I pay extra for having it there) and he talks over me asking me what I want or something like that. I'm like - I would like YOU to wait until I'm finished and quit interrupting. I came here because I thought this was a special place to do or talk about something special but apparently you don't think so (I don't talk to people like this, I think it really loud in my head, but don't say it unless I'm SUPER UBER TICKED OFF).
In JAPAN I was taught to approach a table and pause about a good 20 feet away and bow to the table to see if anyone noticed, and then if I *HAD* to interrupt - I could approach to within about 10 feet and bow again and say "Sumimasen, shitsurei shimasu" or "excuse me for being rude and interrupting." I then had to wait until the table finished whatever they were talking about and turned to acknowledge ME so I knew it was okay to come to the table and they were ready for me. This was because they could be doing sensitive business or having a very personal or private conversation and it wasn't my place to interrupt. I was there to serve THEM which meant I operated on THEIR schedule.
Another pet peeve? When I have to FLAG DOWN THE WAITRESS. Who is in the back doing her nails and talking to her boyfriend. And as they speed walk by I'm like "excusemecouldIgetsomemorewaterPLEASE....(Frick! missed her....I'll get her on the next pass)" Or they never come out leaving me to annoyingly rattle the ice in my empty cup hoping someone notices.
In JAPAN, if I was not actively busy, or if the servers were not actively busy, we had to stand around the walls at the restaurant so we could see our tables and watch for a hand to go up so we could be right there. If we were not on the floor or someone was not on the floor, we would watch each others tables and run and get whoever's table it was so the customer could receive prompt service. There was no waiting on the waiter.
Tonight at Tad's Chicken & Dumplings out near Troutdale, I asked the waitress what the butter was for that she brought me. We were only ordering light appetizers because we were back on the road and had miles left to ride. We just came for the ambiance and to go remember a family member. She told me "oh, that's for the bread you would have gotten if you were eating a full blown dinner but since you're not you don't get that" and then took it away. Like - really? How old are you? Did anyone teach you manners? Have you been serving long enough to know to wait to find out what people are ordering before you put something down in front of them but take it away like it's their fault they didn't order the right thing?
In Japan the host was honored by your presence even if you were poorly dressed they would be happy you arrived and chose to honor their place with your presence (so long as you mind your manners). Now this isn't true of the REALLY upscale restaurants where the waitress wears a $50,000 kimono and has her hair done in traditional style and goes through the tea ceremony at your table before you are seated while they have live ancient Japanese music playing. There you would disrespect an establishment by wearing less than your best because that's the culture. But honestly? Most restaurants aren't really differentiated much from a low-class restaurant except by the items I mentioned above.
I hate to sound old fashioned but on some things - I AM. I put on a tie at the very least (with shirt, pants shoes, socks and if it's a bit more formal I wear my suspenders) if I'm going to meet the higher ups in my company and if things get really tense I even shine my shoes (although I've noticed civilians don't notice if they aren't shined but only notice if they are) and make sure I have a haircut before I go in. I ask if I may sit down. I ask to be excused or if they need anything else before I leave. Just, common old fashioned manners and protocol. I wish more people cared and followed it. That's all. In the meantime I'll try not to be too disappointed or upset but...I still notice.
