In the Navy, the closer you get stationed to Washington D.C. the more often you have inspections. I got used to having them every single day at work for at least a half hour before my shift started. So when I got stationed in the Far East we had full blown inspections maybe one and a half times every tour.
Captain decided he wanted a base-wide inspection! Very unusual.
The skipper often seems to decide to hit on one thing through the course of an inspection. Today it was the stencils in our covers.
As he walked through the line he pulls a sailor's cover off and inspects it and says "How come your name isn't in your cover?"
"....I don't know Sir...."
"So how do I know this is your cover?"
"I don't know Sir...."
"Unsat. Re-inspection Saturday 0700 and extra duty for the weekend" and put the cover back on the sailor's head.
Next sailor, same thing:
"How come your name isn't in your cover?"
"I don't know, Sir...."
"So how do I know this is your cover?"
"I don't know Sir....."
"Unsat. You can join him for re-inspection Saturday 0700 and extra weekend duty" and the captain put the cover back on his head.
I mentally checked to see if my stencil was in my cover by raising my eyebrows heavenward and mentally examining my cover. I had a killer shoe-shine that was the envy of the armed forces and that could take some attention off other things if they weren't always together so I wasn't really worried but it sounded like a butt kicking was headed my way as the skipper moved closer towards me down the line.
Next sailor, same thing: Captain took his cover off his head and checked it and a THIRD sailor in a row, no stencil. (At least they were consistent.)
"How come your name isn't in your cover?"
"Because I didn't put it in there Sir!"
"So how do I know this is your cover?"
"Because you just took it off my head!"
The silence was deafening. "He's gonna get it" I thought.
"Outstanding." The captain put his cover on his head and walked on.
My jaw dropped. "Nice!" I thought.
When he got to Security (the Master at Arms) our captain had been in trouble with Security recently. He wasn't popular with us and there were some strange political winds blowing through there lately in a contest between the Captain's rank and Security's authority as we were waiting for him to trip on some conduct that was not in keeping with Naval Standards.
He walked through us. One of my dirt-bag friends stood behind me - I don't even think he shined his shoes that morning let alone in the last year - he may have even been doing some gardening in his dress whites or even gone swimming in his uniform or something before he showed up - he looked lousy.
But according to the captain we all looked outstanding. As he looked the dirt-bag up and down the captain said, "Outstanding, you look great son!"
As the Masterchief followed behind the Captain he paused and looked at Eckert and at his shoes and said "....apparently he didn't look at your shoes before he said that....don't you think?"
".......Yes Masterchief!"
"Well, this is his inspection and not mine but you're lucky I'm not doing this."
"Thank you masterchief?"
The Captain stood up and told the base the Security Detachment looked fantastic and as a result he was awarding us all a 48 hour pass to be administered at our watch commander's discretion.
That guy was trying to buy us off!!!!!
The rest of the base was TICKED. There had been so much extra duty passed out that morning, I think a good 75+ of them got hit on something for extra duty. And yet, of the Security Detachment, not a single sailor got gigged and the entire detachment got a 48 hour pass.
Something was up.
But hey! 48 hours! I'll take it!
I'd been on the Honor Guard recently, been on TV several times bugling or playing a national anthem of this or that country, putting together language training programs and representing the U.S. at some international relations events and had just picked up Military Police of the Month, and a Junior Sailor of the Quarter Nomination. I had actually like a good two and a half weeks of bonus liberty passes stocked up in addition to my regular vacation the Navy gives you. I'd take another 48 hours while the captain tried to buy us off! That put me at nearly 7 weeks vacation for the year......life was good. Don't get that in the civilian world. If you're lucky that give you some bogus title and raise your pay by fifteen cents for the TOP achievers.
Navy Life was GOOD. Hard. But good.
It pays to be squared away. And can pay to have a captain who's career may be in trouble. He did go down eventually and was forced to retire but it was for sexual harassment against the XO (who was a female). Not sure if that's better than the drunk and disorderly and getting in a fight with security and ending up put on the ground in the gym in front of everyone that happened a few months prior to the inspection. Either way, I was a low man on the totem pole and just tried to blend in or stand out for something good and go home when it was done.
