What is written below is the Armchair Quarterback Committee translated as if it were written by a 12 year old on an IM program.
NEW WORK COMITE PROPOSAL ARMCHARE QUART3RBAK COMITE
(A!!1!!11 LOL PROPOSAL I WROTE AT WORK 2DAY AFTER GONG THROUGH SOMA INSAEN QUASTIONNG AND INV3STIGATIONS)!11!11!! OMG WTF
I FIGUR3D SINC3 WE DO IT ANYWAYS WE MAY AS W3L AKNOWLEDGE IT AND MAEK IT POLICY!!111 WTF IMM PROPOSNG TEH FORMATION OF A NU COMITE CALAD DA ARMCHARE QUART3RBAK COMITE OR TEH S3COND GU3S COMITE OR TEH U SHUDV3S!1!!1!! WTF LOL
TH3IR JOB WIL B 2 R3VEIW EVARYTHNG TAHT GO3S WRONG AND THAN COME UP WIT TRIET SAYNGS TAHT BGIN WIT THNGS LIEK U SHUDVE AND Y DIDNT U!!11!!1!!!!11!!1!11!1! OMG LOL AND 2 DAVELOP A COMPLAT3 AND COMPLEX D3FENSA OF NONSENSICAL YET PLAUSIBLE RH32RIC AGANEST ANY REASONABL3 AXPLANATION AS 2 Y SOMETHNG DIDNT HAP3N WHEN INDIVIDUALS FAL SHORT IN JOB P3RFORMANC3!1111!
THE SAYNGS WIL THEN B MALE3D 2 DA P3RSON WHOS BNG SACOND GUASED PIN3D UP IN AMPLOYE AERAS AND EV3N UESD IN GROUP DISCUSIONS AGANEST THEM!!1!11! WTF LOL DA ARMCHARE QUARTARBAX WIL B R3SPONSIBLE FOR CORDINATNG GROUP SOCIAL ATAX AGANEST DA OF3NDER AND DISPIRITNG TH3M SO THAY WIL N3VER WANT 2 TRY AGANE!11!!1!!1 OMG TEH INDIVIDUAL WIL THEN B H3LD ACOUNTABLE FOR NOT WANTNG 2 TRY AND THERE PATRIOTISM AND VALUE AS A HUMAN BNG WIL TH3N B PUBLICLEY RIDICULED AND CALAD IN2 QUESTION - ALSO CORDINAETD BY TEH COMITE - AND R3FLECTAD IN THEYRE 3MPLOYE 3VALUATIONS
THE!111!!!! GOAL WIL B 2 INHIBIT AL PROGR3S STIFL3 DISCUSION CREAET FEAR OF INITIATIEV OF AL ACTION WHIEL SIMULTAENOSLEY CRAATNG A FAAR OF INACTION AND ULTIMAETLEY 2 MAEK PAOPL3 QUASTION THERE SANITY!!1!1!11 LOL TH3Y R 2 PRAS3NT A UNIETD FRONT AS IF TEH INDIVIDUALS R STUPID FOR EV3N EXPACTNG THNGS 2 B NORMAL OR MAEK SENS3 AND PRESANT A FRONT AND AN AP3ARANC3 TAHT AVERYONE IN DA WORLD BUT TH3M AGRES WIT WUT BNG DON3 - WHIEL TRYNG 2 KEP PEOPLE ON BOARD TEH COMPANY AND INCREAES R3TENTION!11!11 WTF LOL S2KNG FAARS OF UNEMPLOYMENT AND PROIBITNG THEM FROM 3XPAREINCNG DA FREDOM OF UNAMPLOYM3NT BY DAMORALIZNG PEOPL3S S3NSE OF S3LF WORTH SO IT WUD B POINTLAS 2 TRY 3LSAWH3R3 2 LOK FOR A JOB WIL B A K3Y COMPONANT OF TEH COMITE!!1!!11 OMG
THE ARMCHARE QUARTERBAX SHUD ALSO R3VEIW TRANENG 2 MAEK SURE TAHT STANDARDS R MBIGUOS AND OPEN 2 INT3RPRATATION AND H3LP PREVENT CLEAR FEDBAK OR CLARIFICATION OF ANY POLICEIS FROM BNG GIEVN!1!1!!1 LOL THES SI 2 CRAAET A W3ALTH OF SITUATIONS IN WHICH TEH ARMCHARE QUARTARBAX WIL B ABL3 2 BST DO THERE WORK
APLICANTS!1!1!! OMG FOR THES COMITE SHUD HAEV NO PERSONAL VALU3S WUT OTHER THAN ANTAGONISM ANY HINTS OF 3MPATHIC ABILITY SHUD AU2MATICALY DISQUALIFY TH3M FROM JOINNG AXIS I P3RSONALITY DISORDERS R STRONGLEY 3NCOURAEGD 2 APLEY FAST SPEAEKRS HAVNG A COMPLETA INABILITY 2 B AF3CTAD BY LOGIC REASON OR SENS3 BNG ABLE 2 B AASILEY BOUGHT OF - DA LOW3R TEH PRIEC DA BT3R R ALSO STRONGLEY DESIERD TRATES - AL WHIEL MANETANENG AN ARE OF MORAL SUPERIORITY 3VEN IN TEH LIGHT OF GLARNG D3FICEINCEIS
SUCESFUL!!11!1111 OMG MAMBRS OF DA ARMCHARE QUARTERBAX WIL B ESPECIALY ELIGIBLE FOR SUPERVISORY POSITIONS AND S3NIOR MANAEGMANT AND AL OTHER R3QUIERMANTS FOR LAAEDRSHIP POSITIONS MAY B WAVEED UPON HAVNG DAMONSTRAETD COMP3TANC3 WITHIN TEH ARMCHARE QUARTERBAX AFTER 1 Y3AR ON DA COMITE!!111!!11 WTF
